good vs bad in astrology
are we ok being both?
As soon as I hear the question, I’m transported back to Catholic school, to Midwestern repression Olympics, to ethics-based ranking and categorizing.
When I’m out at a party, I try not to dive straight into astrology right away, not because I don’t want to talk about it, but because at first I want to get an essence of someone before I know too much about their chart. I want to see if we naturally click, if the flow of conversation comes easily. Sometimes being an astrologer at a party feels like being the dog at the NBA halftime show. Look, she can balance on a ball! She can guess your rising sign based on your birth time just from her brain! Who doesn’t love a party trick?
Whenever I’m in a discussion about a current astrological happening (ex: Mars just moved into Libra!) or someone mentions the placement of their moon (ex: my moon’s in Aquarius), the same question arises over and over again: so is that good or bad?
This year the number of times I’ve been asked this has skyrocketed. Same with “when will things get better?” which I recently covered in-depth. Spoiler alert: more of the same on the horizon. You can find out why that is here:
At first when I hear this good vs bad question, I feel a small pang of anger. I get defensive on their behalf. A flash happens in my mind, wondering why this person wants to categorize and be categorized in this way. I feel an immediate instinct to grab them by the shoulders, give them a strong shake, and say FREE YOURSELF!!!
[I have spots in my chart I can point to for this knee-jerk response.]
After that half-second burst of internal reaction, I pause, summon grace, and usually will ask them: Well, what does it mean to you to be good? What does it mean to you to be bad?
I don’t carry judgment for this question (ok maybe a little lol I’m human) because I understand that usually it’s small talk or at best it’s a genuine hope for good news. Like being a doctor giving the prognosis. Can you imagine if I went, “Oh yeah, it’s bad, hate to break it to you! Good luck with Mercury in Sagittarius! Consider not speaking?” Or even the opposite. “You are soooo good, no worries nor growth required! Haphazardly fall in love and rely on your looks! Enjoy that Venus in Libra!”
Of course, there’s a benefit to understanding the planet’s essential diginties, and in what positions they tend to thrive vs need more assistance. Same with the aspects they are making and the House they live in. When I’m giving a 1-1 reading, I’ll often tell the person I’m sitting across from, “So when you Google Jupiter in Virgo, the results can be hater-y, so be mindful of that.” I’m not trying to exist wearing only rose-colored glasses, and if you’ve ever had a reading with me or explored my work, you’d know I can be straightforward on what’s really up, but I’m also aware that doomy hooks and endless clickbait thrive on fear and feelings of inadequacy.
Even the latest internet trend of complimenting someone with “I love whatever’s wrong with you,” while seemingly sweet, is still positioned from the space of othering. The complimentor compliments from the perspective of not having that issue in themself. I do find the phrase witty and silly. Don’t get me wrong, I love to have fun on the internet and can recognize when things aren’t that deep…but it’s a reveal: a small telling on ourselves about the current craving to be deemed one way or another. That the “bad” things can be seen as quirky in a “good” way, but the quest is always back to “goodness.”
I went to Catholic school from kindergarten to 8th grade. School uniforms were a box of conformity I despised. As an act of rebellion, I’d roll my skirt as short as possible, decorate myself with costume jewelry, and try to sexify my outfit, a la Britney’s (Hit Me) Baby One More Time. The only reason I attended Catholic school was because of my extremely Catholic grandmother. She forced my mom into enrolling me, though no one in my family was religious besides her. My grandmother went to mass twice a day to repent for her sins, though I never saw her apologize to anyone she hurt in real life.
One day in class, we were learning about limbo. By definition: an abode of souls that are, according to Roman Catholic theology, barred from heaven because they have not received Christian baptism. I raised my hand and asked about my older brother Steven, who died unbaptized the day after being born, a few years before I came earthside. My teacher, without flinching, retorted, “He’s in limbo.”
I went home and told my mom that the brother I had never met was floating in some in-between space with all the other dead babies. Rightfully so, she flipped the fuck out. She called the principal/head nun and chewed her out for propagating nonsense. I was confused why what I was learning in school didn’t match my at-home philosophies.
My parents divorced when I was eleven and after that, the vibes at Catholic school noticeably shifted. My friend groups weren’t acting the same after the news got around that my parents were officially divorced. Though they had been unofficially apart as long as I could remember. I never saw my dad at night; I had no memories of any family rituals. I’d draw with crayons images of my mother as a homemaker, wearing an apron. I’d draw my dad with a tie and a briefcase. I flipped their gender roles in my illustrations to match what my classmates were experiencing. While the truth was my dad was a gambling addict who could barely hold down any job, and none of them ever required white collar accessories, I can tell you that much.
On the playground, one of my old friends told me the truth: “My mom says I can’t hang out with you because your parents are divorced, which is a sin.” Wtf? What year is it?! I was pissed off at the closed-mindedness. I was deemed: BAD?!!?! There’s no hate like Christian Catholic love.
I spent the following years ostracized from most of my peers. I remember my mom dropping me off at a divorced-kids-only slumber party. I sat around in a green-carpeted basement with my new-ish crew of tweenagers, all of us girls had at least one thing in common: hard-working single moms and deadbeat dads. We watched Blue Crush, rolled up computer paper with incense to smoke it (this did not work and smelled like shit), and made out with each other during the credits roll. Some of my first sexual experiences were with fellow girls who were rejected from the Catholic ways of being. Whether I wanted to or not, it seemed I was assigned the course for “bad girl” life. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
I don’t think my views can be summarized in a succinct way. I prefer reflections and storytelling on why my astrological philosophies are what they are, though they are constantly shapeshifting and not a finite thing. When you ask me if you are good or bad, I am not going to give you a binary answer because there isn’t one. I like this quote from Sadhguru: “Good' and 'bad' are judged by what consequences they generate; it is not by the action.”
Astrology is a space for nuance. Life as we know it is a space for nuance. I’m currently writing this in between eclipses, in a time when conversations around morality are at an all-time high. If you feel the urge to ask an astrologer (or even yourself) whether you are good or bad, according to the planets, may I offer you a moment to pause and accept that you are both and not both. Instead, where does this question originate in you? Oh, and I love whatever’s wrong with you.
Thanks for reading ⟡ star quality ⟡ please subscribe, and let me know your good vs bad feelings in the comments.
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xo Stevie
*chefs kiss* stevie!! YES TO NUANCE! thank you for sharing the little stevie child bride cosplay :,)
“mass twice daily to confess sins and yet never seeking forgiveness” NOTHING LIKE THAT SHAME AND GUILT FROM CATHOLIC LOVE GIRL 😭😫❤️🩹
really beautiful and thoughtful. got me a little misty eyed. 🤍🤍🤍